Some men just don’t understand the dating game
I have a friend that’s been single for the last few years. He often complains that he can’t get a girlfriend. He doesn’t understand why, although it’s obvious to everyone else.
And it’s not just my friend. I hear the same complaints from other men.
So, what can I see clearly that my friend can’t?
The number one issue I notice is that he doesn’t put hardly any effort into looking good. He’ll just head out in an old, scruffy t-shirt and wonder why women don’t notice him.
I have pointed this out to him, but his attitude is that he wants a girlfriend that likes him for what he is. He doesn’t want to dress up in a way that makes him something he’s not.
That’s fair enough, but I’m not suggesting he wears a tuxedo when he’s a jeans and t-shirt guy. I’m suggesting that he wears a clean t-shirt that’s been ironed. I’m suggesting he shaves before a night out. Just put some effort in.
If he’s only looking for a girlfriend that likes unshaven men with scruffy clothes then he’s going to have a hard job finding one.
This attitude spills over into other areas of his life. He’s unemployed as well. Why? Because he doesn’t think he needs to make an effort for a job interview. Employers should be grateful he even turned up.
So, if he does manage to meet a woman and start chatting to her the conversation doesn’t last long when she finds out he’s unemployed. We all find ourselves unemployed at some point in our life, so it’s not just about being temporarily out of work that’s a turn-off. It’s the attitude of not caring if you have a job or not.
How can you build a life together as a couple if one partner can’t be bothered?
This leads me to the third point. While my friend is a pretty social person I think he lacks a little in confidence because he never seems to do anything worthwhile in his life. Not being able to get a girlfriend seems to suck the confidence out of him.
But it doesn’t have to be like that. If he tidied himself up a little and got a job he’d be much more attractive to women. Then he’d get his confidence back.
It’s not just me that thinks this. Many of our mutual female friends have also mentioned this.
It seems like he doesn’t want to change for anyone, not even himself.
If we’re looking for a date we need to make some sort of effort to show our best side. We’re like salespeople that sell ourselves.
Imagine you want to buy a new car and head to two different car dealerships. One doesn’t bother cleaning the cars, while the other one makes sure that every car in the showroom is gleaming. Which dealer will you buy a car from? The latter.
If you want to sell your property it should be obvious that you need to get it looking its best if you want to attract a buyer. It’s no different with looking for a girlfriend. The single women out there have a choice of men they can date. Why should they choose you over the others? Because you didn’t make any effort at all?
Learn the rules of the game and you might win. Ignore the rules, and you’re sure to lose.
Guys, please put in some effort if you really want to find a girlfriend.