Get over your fear of rejection and magic happens

Just like most people, I don’t like rejection. It hurts. It makes me feel self-conscious and stupid. But that’s no reason not to put yourself out there. Get rejected enough and you’ll get over the fear.

What you’ll also realize is that your fear of rejection is just that, a fear. The reality is that most people won’t reject you. More often than not you’ll get what you ask for. And that’s how the magic happens.

I was just reading this post from Tim Denning about rejection. It reminded me of similar situations in my own life. I didn’t experiment as Maggie did in the story but might give that a go.

A few years ago I went to Toronto with my wife. We wanted to go to the top of the CN Tower, which is a 553.3 m-high concrete communications and observation tower. However, when we got there we saw a massive queue of over 100 people. We asked the guard how long it would take us to get tickets and he said it would be around an hour.

I don’t know about you, but I hate standing in line for that long. It’s such a waste of time, and time is one of our most precious commodities.

As I was contemplating what to do, I noticed a second ticket office. There was a group of 4 people being served. I was a little perplexed because it didn’t make sense that no one else was queuing up at the ticket office.

I asked the guard why there was no queue there. He said it was for group bookings only. I told him that we were a group of 2. He laughed and said to go try.

Going there meant leaving the queue we were in. Everyone in the queue would have seen us walk to the other ticket office, likely get rejected, and then have to walk back. It would have felt a little humiliating.

So what. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. We walked to the group ticket office. I ordered two tickets. The cashier took our cash and gave us the tickets. That was it. No humiliation. And we got in front of the other 100 or so people.

I had a similar experience during one of the times I visited New York City. I had wanted to visit The Tunnel club for years and now was my chance. Just like in Toronto, the queue was massive. In this case, maybe 300–400 people were queuing.

I hung around at the front to see how quickly the queue was moving and it was barely moving at all. I could have been queuing for hours.

So, I asked the doormen at the front how long it would take before I could get in. He realized I wasn’t American and asked where I was from. I said I was from London. He said there was no queue for British people, pulled back the rope at the entrance and told me I could go in.

I was pretty stunned that it was so easy.

And a final story of queuing was at a club in London. I was with a friend from the US and we spotted a small club that had great music playing. As many clubs in London have high ticket prices we wanted to check what the cost was before we started queuing.

We ask the doorman. He said it was £10 each but he was allowed to let in a few people for free each night. He added that it was, therefore, free for us. So, in we went. We spotted him inside later and bought him a beer.

If you just ask, you usually get. It seems rare to actually get rejected.

Next time you want something, just ask.