After spending time in Asia, I can no longer use just toilet tissue

This is a very delicate topic for many people and no matter what I say, I expect someone will get offended.

So, let’s just get straight into it.

I was raised in the UK. If you use the toilet, you wipe your butt clean with toilet tissue. When I was younger, I never really thought that this was odd at all. It was something that everyone did.

As a teenager, I visited Europe. Many bathrooms there have bidets, so you can clean yourself with water afterward. That sounds more hygienic, but after years of using toilet tissue, it seemed odd to me. Those continental Europeans always seemed more sophisticated than us Brits though, so maybe they were right to have bidets.

Later in life I moved to London, where I used to go for a Thai massage regularly. On one visit, the masseuse said that she was popping to the toilet. She picked up a water bottle and left the room. When she got back I asked why she needed to take a bottle of water to the toilet. She explained that in Thailand they used bum guns. She found it too disgusting to use just toilet tissue so had to take her own water due to the lack of bum guns in the UK. I have to admit that I was a bit baffled.

It wasn’t until I spent some time in Asia that I realized what she was talking about. In Thailand, where I spent most of my time, they have bum guns. This is basically a hose with a tap at the end. You aim it at your butt to clean yourself and then wipe yourself dry with toilet tissue.

In Japan and South Korea, they have toilets that wash your butt with warm water and then blow it dry. They have heated toilet seats and you can even adjust the water temperature on the best models.

There are many people I know that spent time in Thailand, and then moved back to the UK. Almost all of them installed bum guns in their bathrooms. They thought it was just too disgusting to use just toilet tissue.

As they say, once you’ve used a bum gun, you can never go back. This is the same for me.

When I think of using just toilet tissue, it seems like it’s just smearing feces across your butt. Surely this can’t get you clean? But that is exactly what I used to do, and I never had a problem with it.

So what’s changed? I think once you’ve used a bum gun or bidet, you can see that it’s a better method. Then it’s difficult to go back.

I don’t mean to offend anyone that uses toilet tissue, as that’s what I did for decades. I’m just wondering what the best method is. If people that have used both methods opt for a bum gun or bidet, then that must mean that it’s a better method of cleaning yourself. If not, they’d happily revert to using toilet tissue again.

What do you guys think? Let’s get a debate going.

This could result in cleaner bums!