See if you pass the test — most of you will fail miserably

There has been much chatter on here recently about what makes a real writer. But how can you really tell if someone is one or not?

Fake Test #1

There is a vocal minority on here that thinks the test is about whether you write about your earnings or not. That is obviously absurd. That’s just a test invented by those that like to look down on others. I guess they have some self-esteem issues. The only way they can feel good about themselves is by trying to make others look bad.

Fake Test #2

Others that think that even writing for money means you’re not a real writer. This group likes to identify themselves as starving artists. They need to suffer for their art. I guess their problem is that their writing isn’t good enough to earn any money. But if you don’t earn money for your work you’re not a professional, so definitely not a real writer.

Fake Test #3

Also, we have a group that thinks you’re only a real writer if you write a book and get it published. No real writer would demean themselves writing anywhere else. And when they say book, they don’t mean that Kindle nonsense. They mean a real book. One that’s sold in a high street book store.

None of those is a valid test.

There is only one test to see if you’re a real writer or not.

It should be pretty obvious.

Have you already guessed what is?

Do you use a good old-fashioned typewriter? Not one of those fancy electric ones. I mean a proper one. With a ribbon. With keys that get stuck.

Now that is what a real writer uses.

Are you a real writer?

As for me, I fail every test. I write on my laptop. I write about my earnings. I write for money. I have never published a proper book. I’m so bad I may as well give up.

But don’t worry. You, lucky people, aren’t getting rid of me that easily.

Make sure you follow me to get my next earnings update. I know you secretly love reading them.

Please don’t take this too seriously. Chill. We’re all real writers.